Film review: The Voices

Oscar: What attracted you to this role?

Bosco: Everything about it smelled great! The opportunity to slobber on Ryan Reynolds, to argue philosophy with Gemma Arterton’s head, to go on a walk – walk? walk? walk? – all were irresistible. Plus, a chance to put that appalling feline in his place – Mr Whiskers reeks of cat-piss and rotting fish. I want to bite him on the ear, hard! – and to convey this important message to the world: do not listen to the cat.  

Oscar: How did you find working with Anna Kendrick?

Bosco: She’s a good girl. A real good girl! Ms Kendrick is one of the most talented and best-smelling good girls I have had the privilege to whiff. Her subtle and complex aroma is built on a base fragrance of kindness and confidence that puts a dog thespian at ease, with bright overtones of fun and intelligence. I felt like a puppy around her (though I didn’t chew up her shoes, oh no, not me, I don’t know how the shoes got like that!) and hope in some future film to fetch a stick for Ms Kendrick. [Bosco pauses, then wistfully hangs his head] I chewed up her shoes. I couldn’t stop myself. I’m not a bad boy, but in that case, I made a bad choice.

Oscar: Who are your inspirations in life?

Bosco: Soviet Space dogs Belka and Strelka, Theo the Bomb Dog, Woofers, across the street, who lets me smell his rear every time I go out – that lucky mutt gets table scraps! The magnificent Stickeen, who travelled to Alaska with John Muir, and of course the Doggy Lama.  

Oscar: How did you find your voice?

Bosco: Interestingly, I have always had this exact voice when I talk. I think your readers will discover that each dog has a unique manner of speaking, and any person can hear exactly what the dogs say, if the human listener is capable of remaining focused, quiet, perceptive — and stops taking those pesky meds.

Oscar: If you had some advice for your younger self, what would it be?

Bosco: Life is short. Hump every leg, sniff every butt, mount all your friends, and never, ever stop asking to go on a walk. Can we go on a walk, now? Walk? Walk? Walk?

The Voices, starring Ryan Reynolds, Gemma Arterton and Anna Kendrick, is out today