Thriving Through Christmas – Part 1

It’s that time of year again: fairy lights are twinkling, gifts to buy, parties to attend, arrangements being made to spend quality time with loved ones.

But it can also be a time of stress, tiredness, and overwhelm where emotions run high, energy depletes and stress rises which can take its toll on the body and mind.

What if we could learn to practice the power of the pause and thrive through it instead of merely surviving Christmas.

Victor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor, said, “Between every stimulus and response there is a space.” This is the space where we can build on our emotional regulation, as it’s where we can apply the power of positive intelligence, our power to choose our responses.

Power Pauses with Positive Intelligence
Regular pauses help calm my mind and body to reduce stress, so I can work towards having the Christmas I wish for.

Taking regular mindful power pauses can help us to remember what really matters, which of course is YOU and your mental and physical health, and the wellbeing of your loved ones, but it’s got to start with you, being the change that you seek.

First, write your Christmas mission statement; by this I mean, write your intentions. How do you want your Christmas to be, what truly matters, the important elements to you, and for you, and write about how you can aim to achieve this. Then, when things start to get out of hand or seem to go awry, quickly revert back to this statement for guidance. Writing this type of statement gives clarity and positivity, it’s forward planning for focused in action, its beginning with the end in mind.

Regular pauses helps us to come off the autopilot of some self-sabotaging traps we could be falling into, becoming more aware of;

1) The need to be in control

Remember it is more important to be kind than to be right. When you are being kind you are focusing on what really is important, when you are focused on being right you are focusing on what you believe is important. They are not necessarily the same thing, as people believe different things.

Practice letting go, by pausing and becoming aware of that need to have everything go your way, it really is a trap that can create stress and tension not only for you, but for other people. Consider the pause and choosing to release control for the greater good, remembering everyone’s happiness and wellbeing is important.

2) The need to be perfect

Practice being perfectly imperfect or imperfectly perfect this Christmas. Know enough is enough! In fact, 6 out of 10 people say “Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without a bit of chaos”. There are lots of funny memories where people admit to major disasters like forgetting presents, knocking over the Christmas tree, the family pet running away with the ham (that actually happened to my sister), or burning the roasties. If you are going to laugh about in time to come why not laugh about it now. Remember your health and wellbeing is priceless. Kindness and goodwill to all is contagious.

3. The need to please

What happens when you take on too much?

When saying “yes” to someone or something, become aware of times when you might be saying “no” to yourself. Choose your yes’s and no’s wisely, pause and decide consciously, set your boundaries as nobody else can do that for you and a lot of people gain by you having no boundaries. As a result of this we can burn out. Be brave enough to ask for help when you need it.

It’s your Christmas too, so be kind and forgiving to yourself. Practice releasing the need to get everything done for everyone else.

If you gave people the choice of being in a stressful tension filled environment with more food, or a light-hearted calm environment with less food, which one do you think they would choose. Which one would you choose?

In advance, why not write a list of little jobs you would like to delegate this Christmas and then let everyone decide which one from the list they would like to take on, or write them down on pieces of paper and put them in a bowl for everyone to pick one randomly.

Remember to communicate, as a lot of people don’t know what we want or need or wish for, as we don’t communicate effectively.

Thriving Through Christmas Part 2 will have some positive planning tips.