The Power of Expressing Gratitude

At Christmas I created this personally designed, “December Family Gratitude Attitude Jar” and for the last 2 weeks of 2024 we wrote daily notes of gratitude and thanks. Everyone who visited was offered the jar to write a “I am grateful for” note. In general, for the most part, it was embraced as something positive and fun to do. However, at times it was also met with some resistance and reluctance.

In the first hour of 2025, in the presence of many family members I read, aloud, all the anonymous gratitude notes. There was wit and wonder included, wit by some, and a lot of wondering who wrote what note! Overall, it was fun, it was grounding, positively uplifting, and enjoyable.

My mum who is 88 thoroughly embraced this daily practice. She would say “hand me down the gratitude jar, I have something to write”, which in itself was positively heartwarming, that she had this outlet to express herself in writing and found it beneficial. It’s interesting to note here that many of her gratitude notes directed her thanks to others in the family.

Now, I will say that the research studies do not show that writing gratitude lists, in itself, is capable of shifting neural chemistry or circuitry of our brain and body in positive ways, in terms of increasing our “happy hormones” like oxytocin and serotonin etc. In fact, from the research, it turns out that the most potent form of gratitude practice is not a gratitude practice where you give thanks or express gratitude, but rather where you receive gratitude. This is the interesting part.

Everyone enjoyed the process of reading the notes, and two days later we were still talking about and sharing the content of the jar.

Because it was a family gratitude jar, there were a lot of personal gratitude and thanks addressed to other members of the family. Therefore, it certainly served its purpose in terms of witnessing people receiving personal notes of gratitude and thanks, which is exactly where the research shows it has a real positive impact on our mental and physical health and wellbeing: the powerful impact of the genuine exchange of gratitude and witnessing such stories of gratitude and thanks.

If you would like to learn more about gratitude, I highly recommend listening to Andrew Huberman’s podcast where he talks about the science behind gratitude and the specific studies which have shown it to have tremendous positive effects for us, and in particular how an effective narrative-based gratitude practice can reduce fear and increase motivation, among many other positive effects.

It is also well documented in the research that receiving expressions of gratitude increases prosocial behaviour. There is a paper on this called, “A Little Thanks Goes a Long Way: Explaining Why Gratitude Expressions Motivate Prosocial Behavior”

It’s also important to remember that if you embrace something and believe it works, it has the potential to bring benefits; however if you are resistant and reluctant it can, of course, certainly undermine the process.

Why not take this opportunity to write a note of gratitude to someone you love, or to someone from your past who touched your life in some way? A gesture of appreciation is always welcomed by everyone.

I am grateful to be sharing this story in itself, as this is part of my gratitude of 2024, grounded in a Christmas story, which I will remember forever.