Meeting Your Emotional Needs Through Human Connection

Emotion isn’t always easy to deal with.  As humans, we have loads of emotions flying about on a daily basis.  Happy, sad, excited, frustrated, high, low, anxious, content, and so on.  It can be overwhelming and being alone in your emotions can be tough, especially if you are struggling.  Equally, the lovely high times can be felt so much more deeply in good company!  

Are you connecting with people and getting your emotional needs met?

If our emotional needs aren’t met, we can suffer considerable distress.  So, ask yourself the following questions to help you decide if you are getting what you need:

• Do you feel you receive enough attention?

• Do you think you give other people enough attention?

• Do you feel part of the wider community?

• Do you feel an emotional connection to others?

If you find yourself answering ‘no’, it may be time to consider how you can develop your sense of belonging in your life.

As Brene Brown writes in The Gifts Of Imperfection, ‘Belonging is the innate human desire to be part of something larger than us.  Because this yearning is so primal, we often try to acquire it by fitting in and by seeking approval, which are not only hollow substitutes for belonging, but often barriers to it.  Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.’

Here some ideas for how you might seek out more human connection to meet your emotional needs and help you know you do belong:

• Communicate – start a conversation with your partner, a good friend, open up to a therapist/coach, your sister or brother; whoever may the be the right person for that particular conversation.

• Create love – work to experience something great with the person (or a friend) you love! Book a date, go for dinner to that amazing restaurant, go for the city break, travel to the other side of the world, watch a film holding hands, hug when you go to bed, book some time off work to be together…

• Be part of a group or community – a choir, dance class, book club, fitness class, sewing group, cycling club…what is your passion?  Be a part of it!

• Self-care – set aside some time each day or week for showing yourself some love.  Meditation, a relaxing bath, therapy, reading, listening to music, exercise, a walk, home cooking…it’s working the mind, body and soul.  Cliche, but you’ve got to give it the full works for it to be effective!

These ideas seem obvious, but we often don’t make enough time for them.  It is simple, yes, but are you practicing human connection and creating love in your life?

Practicing love, belonging and connection, ‘To begin by always thinking of love as an action rather than a feeling is one way in which anyone using the word in this manner automatically assumes accountability and responsibility.’ – Bell Hooks.