A Journey of Positive Transformation, Learning To Love Your Body: A Daughter’s Reflection

In episode 9 of my Mindful Poetic Stories Podcast, I share a touching story which centres around my elderly mother, and the powerful lessons learned from one of life’s simple yet profound experiences: a moment of shared care, conversation, and a foot massage.

This poetic story started with a simple footbath. I was helping my mother, who had sprained her foot. At 86 years old, she looked down at her ageing knees and made a self-deprecating joke. “Ah, look at these old legs, with their knobbly knees,” she said with a touch of disdain.

I saw the moment as an opportunity to share with her a new way of thinking about herself, a concept I call “the inside-out journey.”

I gently encouraged her to say something kind, to acknowledge the hard work her body had done over the years, and to express gratitude. “Your body is still doing the best it can,” I told her. At first, she resisted, laughing off my suggestion as silly. But as I massaged her legs, I saw a shift.

As our conversation continued, she began to soften and embrace the idea.

Over the week I spent at home, our foot-bathing ritual became a nightly bonding experience, and we embraced the power of self-care. We would chat, laugh, and practice kinder self-talk. My mother, known for her fierce independence, allowed me to help her, a significant moment, given her reluctance generally to accept help. What started as a practical solution to soothe her sprained foot transformed into something much deeper, a shared journey of self-love and acceptance.

By the end of that week, her foot was feeling much better, but something else had happened. Her attitude toward her body had shifted. She began being more gentle to her ageing limbs, and her skin, after a week of care and kindness, felt like “pure silk”, she exclaimed with joy.

From the cradle to the grave, I believe, we could all benefit greatly from introducing more positive self-talk, with loving, kind and gentle words towards our miraculous bodies. Would you agree?

Scientific studies support the idea that our internal dialogue has a real impact on our physical and mental health. Words can trigger emotional responses and even influence the chemical reactions in our brains. One study Do Words Hurt demonstrated that negative words release stress and anxiety-inducing hormones which impact our nervous system.

You can also see the results of an IKEA study on bullying plants here.

Dr. Gabor Maté, a renowned figure in mind-body connection, emphasises how prolonged stress can manifest as illness, linking emotional well-being to physical health.

Experiments with plants have shown similar patterns: kindness helps them thrive, while negativity can make them wither. These findings highlight the power of our energy, both positive and negative.

If something as simple as our words can influence the life of a plant, imagine how they can shape our own lives.

My mother, who had never considered the idea of self-love before, started to change her mindset, first with the simple belief, that “it could do no harm to give it a try”. She began to embrace the concept, practising gentle self-talk, and it has made a difference in her life. At 88, she continues to grow, shifting from old patterns of self-criticism to a kinder, more loving perspective. This is proof that it’s never too late to start the journey of self-love. I am so proud of her and she is inspirational.

My mum, featured here when we went picking daisies, has always loved nature and has a huge passion for gardens and plants, therefore this information really helped her to make sense of it all and the potential harm our words can do.

My experience with my mother showed me how powerful a single change can be, not just for ourselves, but for those around us. When I began to treat myself with kindness, it radiated outwards, affecting the way I interacted with others, including my mother. This ripple effect is a reminder that self-care is not selfish; it’s necessary. By nurturing ourselves, we are better equipped to support and uplift those we love.

There is wisdom in nature. When a plant struggles, we don’t criticise it; we look at its environment, adjust the light, water, and soil to help it thrive. Yet, when it comes to ourselves, we are often harsh, judgmental, and unkind.

This bonding experience with my mother is also a great reminder that we can all offer ourselves the same gentle curiosity and care that we would offer a fragile plant.

Choosing a Kinder Path

As I reflect on my mother’s story and my own journey, I am reminded that self-love is not about perfection. It’s about embracing who we are with all our flaws and choosing to treat ourselves with the kindness we would offer to a dear friend. It’s about speaking to ourselves gently, with gratitude for all that our bodies do for us, even as they age and change. It’s about celebrating life’s small victories and recognising that every step forward is a step toward a more positive and vibrant self.

So, to everyone reading this and listening to my podcast, I encourage you to try it out. Choose kinder words for yourself, notice how it feels, and let the positive energy flow. As my mother wisely says, “Sure, it can do no harm to give it a try.”

Our words have power, and they can be seeds of change, the light that helps us flourish, or the shadow that stunts our growth. We can choose to sow seeds of positivity, nurturing ourselves with encouragement and love, or we can let harsh words take root, causing us to wither. The choice is ours.

Let’s choose words that bring out the sunshine that helps us grow and fills our lives with love and light.

Which words will you choose for yourself today?

Connect with Patricia for a free 1 hour (no obligation) discover call if you are interested to know more about Mental Fitness and the Journey to Self Love hello@pacoaching.co.uk

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