Reconnect with Your Childhood Self

In Episode 8 of Mindful Poetic Stories Podcast, Beautiful Young Girl in Me, I dive into my profound journey of reconnecting with the beautiful young girl within me — the younger version of myself who held the key to my healing and self discovery.

In psychological terms, the “inner child” represents the emotional and psychological experiences we carry from childhood, often influencing our behaviour, beliefs, and self-worth in adulthood. While traditional psychology explores this through therapy to address past wounds and traumas, Positive Intelligence offers a slightly different perspective, encouraging us to reconnect with our childhood self to better understand our true essence and cultivate self-love.

In fact, mental fitness underpinned by positive intelligence is not about changing self but rather is a process of reconnection to our true self, and our younger self can really hold the key to this.

Reconnecting with your younger self can be a slow, step-by-step, but very beautiful transformative process, as it allows you to identify old programming, conditioning and limiting beliefs that may still be running on autopilot in your life.

For me, this journey of self-empowerment and healing has led me to embrace my childhood self, and helped me foster self-empathy and compassion, at a deeper level, which have ultimately been the foundation of positive change in my life.

This connection, for me, has built a concrete foundation of unconditional self-love in me, as even on the most challenging days as a fully grown woman, if I am struggling to be kind, gentle and loving towards myself, I know I can always reconnect with my younger self and I know will always, absolutely always, feel unconditional love for her.

One of the most significant aspects of my own journey has been understanding the impact of childhood conditioning, particularly how the “Pleaser Saboteur” has shaped my life. From a young age, I developed an intense desire to please others to feel loved and accepted. I believed I had to earn love by giving to others. This emotional programming often left me feeling depleted and unfulfilled, as I overextended myself to gain approval from others, all while neglecting my own needs. My need for acceptance and my fear of rejection played a pivotal role in fuelling this behaviour.

I’ve learned that the Pleaser Saboteur isn’t inherently bad, it has strengths such as empathy and sensitivity, but when it operates on autopilot, it can be debilitating. I’ve learned that true self-love requires acknowledging these limiting patterns and choosing to pause, reframe, and act from a place of balance, rather than fear and neediness.

You Matter

The Power of Unconditional Love
One of the most profound realisations through my personal coaching journey has been understanding the difference between conditional love and unconditional love. Growing up, I only knew love as love and it was something I believed had to be earned by conforming to others’ expectations. However, through my healing process, I’ve learned that self-love is about recognising your inherent worth and loving yourself unconditionally, without any strings attached.

Self-love isn’t selfish, it’s self-preservation. Just as the airplane safety instruction tells us to put on our own oxygen mask first before helping others, self-love is about filling your own cup before giving to others. Through this practice, I’ve learned that true fulfilment comes from within, and when we honour ourselves, we become better equipped to help others.

Authenticity is a beautiful place to receive love from; the energy is so beautifully uplifting.

Creativity is another valuable gift my younger self has enhanced in my life, which I am so grateful for. She reminds me to use my innate creative powers and have fun.

Many of us, myself included, carry deep-seated beliefs from childhood that limit our potential. These beliefs, formed from experiences of rejection, humiliation, distress and trauma, which can manifest in adult life as emotional overreactions or self-sabotage or even self-neglect. Recognising and healing these wounds is essential for moving forward. However, this process requires more than just knowledge, it involves consistent conscious acts of self-compassion and positive affirmation.

A particularly impactful moment in my journey, which I share in my podcast, occurred when I revisited an old photo from my first holy communion. I realised that the 8-year-old girl in the picture was not “less than”, she was whole, and perfect and worthy of love. The realisation was pivotal in my healing, as it helped me let go of past beliefs that no longer served me. By reconnecting with my childhood self, I began to nurture the unconditional love I once lacked, and she helped me to cultivate unconditional love for myself.

A key element in healing and building self-love is practising forgiveness. This means forgiving others and, most importantly, forgiving ourselves. By letting go of past hurts and limiting beliefs, we can release the power that old wounds have over us. As I reflect on my journey, I realise that forgiving my younger self for believing she wasn’t good enough was the first step in embracing her fully.

Now I choose to be the senior to my junior, guiding her with love and compassion and she helps me to stay curious and playful in everything I do. She is pure love.

When I visit Ireland, I absolutely love exploring the Irish countryside where my childhood self grew up, with my wonderful nephew Páidi, who I love unconditionally as much as my 8-year-old self, we have so much fun and laughter. Our time together exploring always brings with it so many beautiful memories for me to reconnect to and share with him. Our childhood self certainly can help us remember to always be curious, creative, and never stop jumping in puddles to create a splash.

Through my journey of reconnecting with my childhood self, I’ve learned that self-love is not about perfection but about embracing our imperfections. We all carry wounds from the past, but we also have the power to heal and break free from limiting beliefs. The process of reconnecting with your childhood self and nurturing self-empathy can lead to profound growth and transformation.

If you’re ready to embark on this journey, I encourage you to take the time to reflect on your younger self. Find an old photo to connect with, write to your younger self, express your love, and offer them the compassion they may have lacked. Through this process, you can break free from old patterns, reclaim your true essence, and cultivate a life filled with self-love and authenticity.

Remember, it’s never too late to reconnect with your childhood self and allow their creative, curious, imaginative, playful spirit to guide you toward a life of joy and fulfilment, where you can both thrive together.

Connect with Patricia for a free 1 hour (no obligation) discovery call if you are interested to know more about Mental Fitness and the Journey to Self Love at hello@pacoaching.co.uk

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